Taseli looked at him. His chisled face was as she remembered it. His eyes peirced her. She could see the hurt in them. He remembered. She approached him slowly, each step measured. Why am I doing this. This will only end up hurting us both.
"Do you mean to hurt me more?" He asked, voice sounding hurt.
"No... Ursa... It can't be now... When you were gone, I... I moved on..." Taseli looked at the ground, her eyes focusing on her own feet.
Ursamal placed his hand on her shoulder. "I can understand, but... please... give."
"Don't... It can't happen." Taseli cut in, looking up into his eyes. His features seemed softer for that one moment. It hurt him... She could tell he knew what was coming but she had to say it. She had to end it now so she could fully move on. So that she could watch Sarra grow up and be happy to be her mother. Dwelling on Ursamal and how she left him had haunted her for months. It needed to be done.
"Why not? Why can't we rebuild what we had? Why can't you come back to Leo and I?" Ursamal gazed at her. His look was that of pure longing.
"You left. You didn't say you were leaving or where you were going. I... " Taseli stopped and looked away, discreetly wiping a tear from her eye. This shouldn't be happening. I shouldn't be sad. I haven't spoken to him or seen him in over a year.
"I wanted to tell you... You have to believe that. But I couldn't... I couldn't tell you I was going to what was likely my doom. I did what I had to."
"And I did what I had to... To be happy."
Ursamal looked away, tensing slightly. Taseli looked at him. "What is it?"
"I don't know... Thought I heard something. Perhaps we should finish this some other time."
"No, I need to do this now... I need to explain my decision..." Taseli spoke quietly. "I owe you at least that much."
Ursamal sighed and looked at Taseli. "Will I at least get to see my daughter?"
"I can't say... I... Ursa... You didn't even remember Leo, myself or any of your children when you did return." Taseli stepped back a bit as she said this. "That is what hurt the most. Until that, I was willing to try and make it work again... But... I can't now. I think it is best for Sarra that she doesn't know her father."
Ursamal glared at her angrily, his eyes cutting deep into her. "So you will deny me access to that which is equally mine?"
"What is yours?" Taseli spat back. "You weren't there for her, ever. You didn't have to explain to her why she can't talk or make any other sound like a normal person. You didn't have to wake up in the middle of the night to check on her to make sure she didn't need anything since she couldn't cry. She is not yours at all. You may be her father... But you never held up your end."
Ursamal sank back into the ground, tears in his eyes. "I know I should have done better as a father... I will respect your decision... But know I will always be willing to be a part of her life should you have a change of heart." He stood and turned, starting to walk away. "Goodbye, Taseli."
Taseli watched him leave. She wanted to get up and bring him back, but knew she had to let go. She wanted to be happy with the new life she chose, and this is what needed to be for that to happen.
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